tala @ so-phobic

Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one.

This is one of my favorite quotes. I first heard it on One Tree Hill. I don’t know if it’s a quote from somewhere else, or if it’s from the lyrics of a song. But it captures the fervent wish of having someone, that _one_ person, to come home to at the end of the day. The one person who helps us make some sense of the daily grind that is life. The one who makes us feel alive.

I recently saw this quoted on a schoolmate/future officemate’s blog. I had a gut feeling that he’d hit it off with another officemate, so I introduced them and watched by the sidelines as sparks flew. He said on his blog that she makes him feel alive again. I couldn’t help but smile, not only because I was glad that my instincts were correct, but because I felt so happy that someone else was feeling the same way I did. Someone else was experiencing the high that love brings.

Life can be pretty dismal at times. People disappoint you, Murphy dips his hand in and nothing goes your way. But falling, feeling, _being_ in love! It’s the narcotic that keeps me high and inspired to grind, the soothing balm that brings me the sweetest of dreams at night. I love this feeling. I love being. And I love sharing this with everyone else. So I can’t properly express how ecstatic I am for you, A and L. I hope this becomes a constant thing, and flourishes even further. Because it feels so good to be so sublimely happy. It feels so good to live again.

Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard, but if you look close enough you find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, and if you’re the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.

Salamat, Mik ko. Mahal kita.

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The pain is excruciating.

These walls have been up all these years of my existence. I opened myself and let you in, a rarity for me. I let you see something most never do. I trusted you and gave you something I don’t just hand out as a freebie to any and every passing stranger. And you throw it back at my face.

I offered the best I had to give, contrary to what you might think. I’d run to hell and back for you, fight all your battles, hold your hand, hold you in my arms.

The pain that comes with rejection…

I told you once that I’d understand, and I do. And I said I’d let you go your own way and stay in my corner and wish and wait. And then I’ll stop crying and live with that dull ache that will be a constant reminder of the loss of you.

I didn’t think it would be like this. Cause I believed you when you said it wouldn’t end like this.

The pain that comes with the realization that you never wanted us to be friends from the beginning…

And now you’ve hurt me in the worst possible way you can.

I hope you derive some happiness out of it because then all of this would make some sense and be worth it.

This is it then? Goodbye.

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