tala @ so-phobic

I feel like I’m watching my life pass by through someone else’s eyes. Parang pag pinapanood mo yung mga videotapes mo nung bata ka pa. Siyempre pag yung baby tapes, feeling mo ikaw talaga yun kase ang cute cute mo. Pero yung mga later tapes na, yung nagpapakita na tumaba ka na, o kaya naka-braces ka, or yung uso nun na hairdo na matigas dahil sa spraynet (may spraynet pa ba ngayon?), or yung yuck! kadiring high-waisted na jeans at naka tuck in ka pa! Feeling mo hindi ikaw yun. Deny to death ka pa. Hindi ka makapaniwala na ikaw yung nasa prom video, or nasa grad video (na-convert ko na pala at last yung Pisay Grad Vid ko into VCD, lol). Kamuka ko pero hindi ako yun! Parang ganun ako ngayon. Some people over the Internet say na sign daw yun na I feel like I’m losing control over my life. May gusto akong gawin, pero hindi ko magawa dahil responsibilites are a constraint. Parang yung mga gustong mag cut ng classes nung gradeschool or even high school. Gusto nilang mag cut para manood ng sine pero since may responsibilidad silang mag-aral at wag sayangin ang pera ng mga magulang nila, papasok na lang sila sa class. It’s like when you have to make a choice between 2 things that you don’t like. Parang feeling mo wala talaga yung freedom to choose kasi yung options mo, they don’t feel like options since you hate them both.

Ganon nga ba? Anytime naman pwede kong baguhin itong stagnant life ko diba? Dapat oo. So ano nga ba ang gusto kong gawin? Ano nga ba ang pwede kong gawin to break this monotony? Gusto kong lumayas dito. Gusto kong mag travel. Kaso may school. Kaso may responsibilities to my family. Kaso hindi naman ganun-ganun na lang na pag gusto mong umalis, makakaalis ka kaagad. May red tape pa at bureaucracy sa pagkuha ng VISA, pag make sure na di expired ang passport, yadda yadda. * Sigh * So, back to the choices I’m left with. Back to my mundane existence. Manood na lang ako ng TV para ibang buhay naman ang mapanood ko. Ay shet, wala pala akong TV dito sa condo. Amf.

* * *
I was craving for Chickenjoy, thanks to Karl. So as soon as class finished, I dragged Nix over to the Jollibee in Greenbelt 1. OMG, another Behind the Counter story! So Nix gives the order of the 2-piece Chickenjoy meal and a Champ. Before he could get the word Champ out, Behind-the-Counter-Dude (BtCD), without an “Excuse Me”, moves away and heads towards their kitchen area. He comes back and asks if we want fries and if we want to “Go Large” (Go Large ba sa Jollibee o Go Big Time? I always get it wrong). Nix and I hate Jollibee fries, so we decline sa fries and Nix says Go Large sa Coke Light, no ice (shaken, not stirred, LOL). BtCD repeats the Go Large… part. So he goes to prepare the food and drinks and comes back with a regular Coke Light with ice. So Nix tries to tell him na Go Large nga, kaso BtCD brushes Nix off and talks to a customer who was waiting for a Take-out order, and then talks to one of his colleagues. :doh: At this point, Nix is so pissed off na. Faggy pa naman si BtCD. Yung tipong parlor fag pa. I was tempted to be cranky and snap at him, but I was too hungry. I wanted my Chickenjoy NOW! So the fag throws a little fit cause he punched in the wrong drink size. We handed out the exact change and left the dude to his tantrums. If we weren’t hungry, Nix might have talked to the manager, LOL.

At ang sarap ng Chickenjoy. After about 2 years of not eating at Jollibee, yummy Chickenjoy! Forget the gravy na lang. I could feel my arteries clogging up with every bite, but who cares! And of course, I saved the best crispy skin for last. Yum! :mrgreen::kiss:

* * *

I hate Isaac Asimov. Taena nya! I just finished the 4th book in his Foundation series, Foundation’s Edge. I don’t have the next book, Foundation And Earth. I’m currently downloading it through Kazaa and Bit Torrent. It’s 3AM and I have an attack of insomia. I’m so fucking bored to death, so pissed off at the slow download and at some dead sci-fi writer.

Asimov is brilliant. Foundation’s Edge is 448 pages long, and all the action starts and gets resolved (or at least it appears to, until the next book) from pages 386 to 448. The previous 385 was just pure build up. Actually, now that I think about it, the previous 2 books were just pure build up too! Sidenote: I dont have a copy of the 3rd book, Second Foundation, but I was bored one night so I decided to just read the 4th book, since I know the basic plot of the 3rd book anyway. And Asimov has this subtle way of repeating himself.

Anyway back to the build up. This is why Asimov is brilliant. He gives his readers enough information and stimuli to keep them guessing and asking, and of course, to keep them reading. In the first book, each chapter occured in a different timeline in the First Foundation. Each chapter dealt with an approaching Seldon crisis. Asimov goes into detail in describing what the Seldon crisis is: what factors affect it, why the current protagonist thinks it _is_ the Seldon crisis for that timeline. It is usually an exchange of ideas among the characters of that chapter - a debate done in 101 different ways. Turn to the next chapter and you learn that the previous Seldon crisis has been solved. That the First Foundation has bee successful, and that The Seldon Plan is once again on the right path. This is how the whole book flows. What solution each protagonist reached at to solve the crisis may be deduced from the debates and detailed outline of ideas. But not once did the book show _how_ it was done. To compare it to a movie, there were no action scenes at all.

Some action might have happened in the 3rd book, which I am also downloading right now. It’s the Mule vs the 2 Foundations. An aberrant mentalic vs a Foundation of advanced spatial technology and a Foundation also of mentalics! There has got to be some action there! Hmm. Come to think of it though, the action in Foundation’s Edge is quite anitclimactic. Asimov didn’t go into details as to _what_ exactly Trevize did. Gawd, that chapter was also a build up on its own! Argh! I want some answers! And alas, to my utter disappointment, Wikipedia does not have the answers I’m looking for! Is Bliss a robot like what Trevize surmised? Where exactly is the Earth, and how did it become radioactive? What did Trevize do that made both Foundations “forget” about Gaia’s existence? Did it involve some sort of mentalics? Or was it like that myth about the Eternals choosing a Reality? Asimov fans out there help me out here!

Amfness! I’m too obsessed with this book to be distracted even by Ragnarok.

Footnote: I just learned that Lady Jessica is actually the daughter of Gaius Helen Mohiam. The old Reverend Mother was raped by Baron Harkkonen :barf:

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